If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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