I will die if light touches me.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
