i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
they need to just BURY HIM!
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
