Me too!
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
