I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
