I accidentally burped into my bong.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
