good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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