did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
its not stalking. its research.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
