Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
