well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
