so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
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