So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
