Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Text me some of your sweat
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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