5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
