He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Vodka?
Forever.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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