Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
