Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
