This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
