hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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