One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
