can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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