I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
