I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
