South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
