I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
