PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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