I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
