The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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