Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
