Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Is her dick bigger than yours?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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