the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
The dick lei will go down in squad history
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
