I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
