turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
