Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
