what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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