Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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