If that was your dad, he is hot
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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