just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
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