We're like a lot better than the average bears
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
