Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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