everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
