i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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