He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
