She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
