super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Let's get the cat blown out
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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