I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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