I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I think I sprained my soul last night
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
