is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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