apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
