Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
