I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Randomize
