omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
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